whats is there to hope? hoping that things will run smoothly? hoping someday the day will come? is there any love for me? hope and hope and just hope.. penat jugak mcm neh.. well thats just the way people runs their life nowadays.. HOPE.. im not sure bout u guys. i can just hope for everything i can hope for.. i go out, seek things i want to seek. i go out and try everything that i could possibly do. in the end.. i still hope that things would run well n smoothly. and i still HOPE!. haha tawakkal tanpa usaha itu sia-sia kan. mustilah berusaha.. haha..
but... well if things did not turn very well.. maybe its not our fault anyway. or maybe it is.. haha.. tapi there is still faith in us to get us through these hard times. x dpt straight a SPM ke.. CGPA x 4 flat ke.. (wow).. or even people let us down for some reason. i always choose to believe.. hey its karma.. sumthing for me to ponder bout my past . have i ever do anything wrong? to people? to dogs maybe? why dogs? anjing neh.. kebanyakan org benci.. sbb bising. haha well its true but anjing neh dah lumrah die begitu. menyalakla x kan nak mengembek kot.. x ble nak salah kan die.. ok ok sambung... so bile pk mcm tuh. its sumthing that makes me wanna be a much better person after that.. normal la kan.. lesson learnt.. muhasabah diri then berubah.
the real reason why i write this...
ok lets go straight to the point... i just do not know why.
maybe serabut.
maybe sakit.
maybe.i.do.not.know.how.to.express.my.self....
reading other peoples blog.. make me feel small..
in facebook.. reading other peoples walls.. makes me feel lonely.
break or bond dim or bright fast or slow... you'll still be there nurse me with your smile and i will reply "shimmering you, shimmering me"
empty as i am, brighten my nights is this my light end of the tunnel? or only the lights along the tunnel? gladly i smile "shimmering you, shimmering me"
you are my night you are my day you are my friend along the way to see to reach the end of the road indeed, "shimmering you, shimmering me"
don't write me off don't go just yet or in circles I run back to square one you are my star you are my sun "shimmering you, shimmering me"
alot of things had happen to me past few days back. let me put back in order.
17 February 2010, Wednesday~
Working day. suppose in the morning i shud drive back to PD. but well i need to have my car service first. herm. its morning 8.00 am i go drive to bangi while driving i try to reach the service centre on my cellphone.. tapi x angkat. so i called my-so-call Head Planner(basically he's incharge of my team in Exxonmobil Refinery in PD but i dont think he do all the work.. mcm copy paste je..LOL). and i told him that i could be late coming to office sbb nak service centre. tapi he said x bole sbb that morning we were going to have a meeting with the clients.
herm halfway to bangi i made a U-turn n head back to PD. but then halfway going to PD i remembered last time i had my car service wasnt that long pon.. x payah book n x pyah tunggu lame.. so maybe sempat kot service keta then reach PD before 10 am. then another U-turn head back to bangi...
i wondered, x bukak lagi ke service centre tu? herm x pe i just drive to bangi.. rupenye x bukak pon.. demm. duduk jap tepi longkang(istighfar).. haha lantak la busuk pon. i started panicking kot. haha u know why? sbb my Suzy(thats what i named my car) already exceeded 5000km of mileage and in fact almost reach 6000km. and the coupon for free service labour charge only valid before 6000km. hermm. ok, then i called SUZUKI assist ask for any service centre which are open. haha u know what he said? MELAKA .. haha damn. jauh plak..
ok. then fuck the mileage. fuck the coupon. just go to work.. and i rushed back to PD. as i reached PD at exactly 10 am, i was informed that the meeting was canceled.. Fuck. rugi duit minyak je bwk laju2. laju kot.. but not as fast as my long lost baby la. this is a new car.. theres a limit. so i went to work as usual.. but in the afternoon i was so pissed at my boss tuh, i just blah from my work n went home at sepang. hehs.. well he couldve told me the meeting was canceled la...~~
as i reached home start packing up my stuffs and guitar n i went to Faizal's (he's a lonely arse bitch living alone in Putrajaya LOL. in another word a good friend =). so there goes my day.
18 February 2010, Thursday~
Faizal and me basically we are two good frens and we actually had form a band last time back in uni years. the band was consist of a bassist played by Kamil our band leader, a lead guitar Faizal, second guitar played by myself and also vocal by me as well. we had 3 drummers.. tuka2 last time.. azzam, abu and lan gay. oh yeah and pompom boy which acted by Joe. the band was then had to broke up since kamil had to go study overseas, erm Faizal, azzam and others found a new hobby which is Online gaming.. so that left me alone.
so on that day we (faizal and me) wanted to jamm and started making videos of us.. and to put an ad to find oursevles a new committed drummer. hehs.. but as the day go on WE NEVER EVEN TOUCH THE GUITARS... LOLS~..
and yeah dat day faizal brought me to vegetarian restaurant at cyber.. i had KONG POH CHICKEN RICE... yeah chicken.. it taste like chicken but actually TOFU..and at nite we had prime roast chicken salad.. HEALTHY DAY ..lol.
so there goes my day again. n it didnt go as i planned. T_T
20 February 2010, Saturday(today)~
SEMINAR DAY.. harini rase mcm working day kot.. yela kan kene force pegi seminar tah pape. lol. as usual, i woke up in the morning solat subuh. then dress to work.. tapi harini special.. usually i wear coverall(its a fire retardant monkey suit oil n gas people has to wear). but today i wear normal clothes yela nak gi seminar kot. gile ke pakai fire retardant, panasss kot.
so i got into my suzy and drove to seremban at 7.10 am. ouh yeah the seminar is at Royal Bintang seremban. hehs. then baru je klua highway.. i checked my messages in my hp. i remembered my colleagues ade send msgs about the seminar. so i opened.. astaghfirullah rupenye seminar tuh start pkol 11.30 daaa... this is too early la azri~~!!. huhu forgetful azri... then i turned back head to home in sepang. LOL.
so now here i am in front of the computer with nothing to do. just now i check my facebook msgs. i got this from my ex.
my ex: hye..ep br prasan ...u r single.. sory x tuka awal2..sian kat azri...
and this is my reply. punye la panjang,
azri: ermm... ep yg x nak dgn azri lagi kan.,. u said so before.. n i dont know shud i still be engaging in this relationship? when i ask u u said u dont know n u dont have a reply/no answers ... sumtimes in life no answers are actually a decision. a decision from u that u dont want to engage a relationship with me..
but lets start a new life ? lets start fresh... lets start a new relationship.. then u choose if u want me or someone else.. im starting a new life too.. whether with u or without u i cannot tell.. its true what u said.. sume tuh rahsia tuhan.. but all i can do is just hope for the best. n be the best i can be.. kalau mmg ep da x de prasaan kat azri.. theres not much i could do. but im very grateful that God makes me feel for you.. a thing that called "love" .
p/s: remember this " in life, sumtimes NO ANSWER is a DECISION "
pergh ai punye kaler PINK lah!!! LOL..
come to think of it i'm not sure what shud i feel about my self and everything. hermm. but then just now i watched "Jack" at astro..
The movie is about a boy with a unique aging disorder: one that makes him age 4 times faster than normal. Movie picks up when Jack (Robin Williams) is 10 years old, but looks 40. He tries to go to public school for the first time, and tries to become friends with kids his own age. His physical appearance causes him lots of problems, however.
the soundtrack sounds nice and makes me wonder how good life is and we should always look for the future and reach the stars with or without wings.. just like "jack".. =)
heres the song, enjoy~
There's a road - long and winding The lights are blindin' - but it gets there Don't give up - don't look back There's a silver linin' - it's out there somewhere Everybody wants an answer - everybody needs a friend We all need a shinin' star on which we can depend N' so tonight we're gonna wish upon a star We never wished upon before - (to find what you're Looking for) There'll be times - in your life Ya when you' be dancin' n' shit - but you ain't gettin it But don't get disillusioned - no, don't expect too much 'cause if what you have is all you can get - just keep on Tryin' - it just ain't happened yet Everybody wants to be winner - everybody has a dream We all need a shinin' star when things ain't what they seem So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star We never wished upon before - (gotta get where you're Headed for)
Everybody wants some kindness - everybody needs a break We all need a shinin' star when things get hard to take So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star We never wished upon before
